Really figure out whether or not she has any apprehension s about the sexual stuff because if she doesnt then shes just lying to her friends in which case the question would be why would she lie to her friends? A Young Boy Hires Prostitute For One Hour 42:46. Seems to me that because of her indifference to your feelings, she needs to get rid of those friends because she emasculated you in front of them. Or so that she wont identify you? And the fact that you're now married and settled down with a woman means you probably have a preference for women overman anyways it's 2021 dude closet doesn't have a lot of people left in it and, needing it to still feel manly is the ultimate problem here. I learned that it is usually a sign of people not sharing everything, not saying that is your situation, but she violated your trust and didnt even give you the courtesy of giving you the heads up. Sorry bro, no words. Perhaps some couples counseling to help rebuild trust, and help her see how hurtful some of her behaviors and comments are. Accept yourself, just try to improve. Birds of a feather flock together. Lol see. Tell her that not another drop of alcohol is going to pass her lips from now on, it obviously addles her common sense. I started putting a voice recorder in my wife's car after u caught her cheating. Therapy is what you need. I got halfway through before searching "fake" in the comments. Sorry man, I feel like we all over share with our friends sometimes. If thats true then she needs to work on her confidence to be herself around her friends and nit be pressured to say things to sound cool. Dont slide back to her. Same. Now this doesnt mean shes a 100% shit person. Unfortunately as long as there are homophobic people out there, there is potential to damage his reputation. Gaslight, blameshifting, shamming, begging by the end and finally divorce. Thats not someone you stay in a marriage with. I think you did the right thing by leaving that night, although blowing up the party that was might not have been the best idea. And if they give you a hard time, then fuck em! He said if i wanna get together for a drink or whatever to let him know. I don't have anything else to say about it besides the fact that we're both happy with our sex life.". Frankly I would be more able to forgive infidelity than I would these kind of conversations. So I became kind of a joke and was constantly approached by family and friends, which didnt contributed at all for my stress level. I think the problem here is not your wife not loving you or your sex life -- it sounds like she loves you very much and enjoys y'all's sex life. Thats the shittiest advice you could give someone. Right? Letting your orientation slip to her friends is one thing, if she was drunk and it was an accident that's understandable, but it wasn't an accident to make fun of you behind your back to her homophobe friends. If you are honest, people may cheat you. She broke your trust, plain and simple. Next I called my wife. Sounds like there needs to be an understanding formed between you guys and what is appropriate conversation with friends. If you can't own up to what you're doing in the bedroom, you aren't mature enough to be doing it. As far as your confidence goes, why has that taken a hit? Get used to me being stupid". Those homophobes won't care that he's married to a woman. How I interpret you feel: she betrayed your trust, she shared your private life, and then made fun of it. The world is bad enough with mean enough people, you dont need your team mate trash talking you too. They are not good people (homophobes are not good people), and they don't give a shit about you or your relationship with her. Yes, I do think you need to talk to her about it - it's not something that's going to go away. She chose to prioritize platonic bonds over her marriage and honestly just participated in casual homophobia at the expense of her husband. You need to learn how to deal with being outed and your stupid wife needs to understand the true ramifications for you. That's a lifetime story . So no being friends with intolerant halfwits, and no more alcohol. Will you ever be able to "do the bi stuff" in bed with her again? I would keep notes about what's promised and then see what she manages to do about it going forward (should you decide to stay with her). Of course she's only sorry she got caught but think about it, how many times they've been making fun of you from their girls night outs? I'm a bisexual woman, and if my husband told his friends that he thinks of other women when we do more than vanilla sex, I'd tell him to go find less. We hung on because we truly love each other and that is what really counts. Do not let anybody minimize this either. You and your sexuality are valid and you deserve to be treated as such. You need a therapist to help you process what you're feeling, you need to process that in your time and she needs to fucking wait for you to do it if she really cares about you. You can't unhear it and if you don't bring it up, your resentment will grow and your self-esteem. Taking a sensitive topic like sexuality and using yours in a way to demean you just so she can get a chuckle from her friends is unacceptable. The simple fact of the matter is she shit talks you behind your back. Your wife IMMEDIATELY tried to gaslight you as soon as she found out you heard what she had said. You deserve better treatment from her. Things ended when Tom took a job across the country and my wife chose not to follow him. Decide what you need to keep the relation ship going. Be kind anyway. OP-the one man who reached out to you, I feel he is a solid individual and have to give You major points to talking with him. They are what they are and they are very real. I think that you need a good week to try and think about how you feel, how you're going to be able to contain the gossip and how you move forward with the wife . You are who you are, it's a done deal. Your sexuality isn't really fodder to take the piss out of. She has taken away your ability to feel safe being vulnerable and honest with her. She let slip things that suggests she views OP inferiorly. Your wife really messed up. It's only a reference to who you choose to have sex with. Best to you. Good luck mate I hope you're able to get through this with no drama. Anything she says in the moment right now can't be trusted because she'll do or say whatever it takes to keep you. Especially because the reason behind the "close call" was because OP is bi. She told them deeply personal stuff about your sex life. She and her boyfriend did it regularly. Right I mean she volunteered stuff when she could have kept her mouth shut. There were 3 friends with her. Their partners undoubtedly know about you. As long as you are honest with yourself then it will all work out. she needs to stand by you and say that shes proud of you and supports you. The two judgmental homophobic friends have got to go. Let her know that if she wants to patch this up, its on her. I told her how emasculated and embarrassed I felt. She swears she does love our sex life and the things we do and is sorry. She's painting an imaginary picture for these "friends" with absolutely no regard to the feelings of the person she's supposed to love & care for. My parents stayed together for my sister and I and I honestly wish they would have split a long time ago. I think that sometimes both men and women have a form of locker room talk with their friends about topics that maybe they arent entirely truthful about with their friends in order to make them feel better. It actually did make me feel a little better. I dated a man who tried to beat the bisexuality out of me because the few girl friends I had were "my type." Remember also that it is okay to feel uncomfortable - instead of fighting these feelings, allow them to just pass through you. You poor man, I so want to give you a hug. The bigger problem seems to be that she's embarrassed of it, not willing to stick up for it/you, and is willing to lie to her friends to fit into what they want her to be. Many of your friends and family pick up on this anyway. Even if it was a close call, you dont say that. she can claim she doesnt mean it all she wants but that will not change the fact she said it and then didnt defend you when things got ugly. Her motivation doesn't change that the fact that you deserve someone that stands up to their friends. Must feel betrayed and really hurt. I absolutely agree. Im so sorry, my jaw hit the floor reading this. My step-dad said, "I feel like I always have to watch what I have to say, and I shouldn't have to worry about . As an aside, in tandem I would "shore up" the masculine vibe (I'm reluctant to say it, but if shes confronted with sommething she may traditionally view as feminine then it will prove a great juxtaposition if you are more "direct and masculine" while shes going through this priocess). And why do you feed their judgement by throwing your husband to the wolves over this? I wish you the best of luck and although feelings usually subside after sleep, please don't just say everything is alright when this incident has revealed fundamental issues in the relationship's trust and overall what she deems to be acceptable conversations with friends. Ebony milf with big tits, shaking young boy's cock in rough modes 06:00. There is nothing wrong with you. But that's fucked You need to stand up for your person to your friends not play along. When my husband and I had been together for maybe a year, I went to my mom exactly once for advice. Would she throw them under the bus too or try to forbid them from coming out? For example, he keeps in touch with some of his exs and although it's his business he is always transparent with me because he know how I would feel if it was behind my back. She needs to do something to show how sorry she is. Yeah, all of those things are a painful betrayal. I will admit i dont tell my friends everything either, but if it comes up i wont join in and make fun of people who get made fun of for doing what i am into. I am a closeted bi woman. You both need to get in front of a good counselors and dig in. you sound like a fuckin pussy, enjoy your manliness, as you your wife fucks u in the ass LOL. Then lots of hard conversations and a come to Jesus with your wife. She is the person who is supposed to have your back the most, and not only did she not, she threw you to the wolves and also took some bites herself. If she had doubled down and defended herself and her friends, then that would be a break up situation imo. I told her she needed to answer everything I ask her honestly and she promised she would. Don't let her victimize herself or try and guilt trip you. Then throw in this scenario that she was bisexual and the "boys" called her a "butch lesbian who doesn't really like dick.". They were together for 3 years. She stopped criticizing after that. But don't be shocked when prople know already. All I know is I would never trust my wife ever again after something like this. She needs to apologize to you in a way that doesn't offset the blame to her friends. thats some foul behaviour. Also? If you love her at your core, and want to work through it then work but it doesn't have to happen quickly or on any schedule. She needs new friends what a bunch of assholes. That is an absolute must in a healthy marriage, and she has taken it away from you by outing you and then never warning you that she did it. I mean, youre not wrong petty king/queen. "I overheard my wife talking to one of her best friends on the phone while I was passing the bedroom. Don't make any decisions until you have calmed down. Well 1. I bet you can still hold your head high with them. Oh come.A- at least. Sorry you had to deal with this man, your wife sucks. Continuing to discuss, lie and joke about the issue for years is where the problem is. But she enjoys to embarrass you to her friends behind your back about it. Fuck her. Go out and do things during those days, don't wallow. I am honestly at a loss. Ngl bro the first halve is disrespect enough, you now know she keeps important shit to herself like Tom tryna derail your marriage and is at the same time comfortable sharing your personal life with her friends and entertaining her friends disrespecting you in your own home. So much this. How? Im healthy and fit, exercise frequently and eat well, so that kind excludes most physiological causes. Id also like to see those fun-o-phobes pack their bags and get out of your wifes life. Second communicate. You both need support and work towards creating a space where you both can be more honest with one another. I would just ask why her friends opinions matter more than yous twos intimacy. She shouldn't be hiding things from you or telling people your personal stuff. Sounds like shes really sorry. Do you believe what she told you? Also she devolved some abusivo behaviour which, according to her was due to the lack of sex. That's where your power is. What girl no own ya sh*t. I would be scared to death to share those acts with her again. For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. You might want to discuss that during counselling, or maybe with a therapist. I thanked him. My 2 cents is not worth much, but why did she not feel the need to tell you when she realized she let it slip from the drunken night? If my wife did this, I doubt I'd ever care to be into intimate with her again. She said 'girls talk' and she has to have someone to talk to about stuff. I do not get why some people think it is okay to shit talk or make fun of their significant other to their friends, and act two faced when their significant other is in the room. The guys and I were in the garage smoking and throwing back some beers just bullshitting about this and that. It was lovely that the mate called you and said what he did. Good luck, brother. We were having drinks and girl talk, about sex, etc.. well he didnt like a few things he heard and got upset. Your anger is justified, but breaking up your wonderful family over this is too much and a shame? Good luck! It's not their sex life that she discussed, it's HIS sexuality, something he stated he largely kept private. I might not go as far as to say shes only sorry she got caught, but the current reaction is definitely because she got caught. I would divorce my husband if he let his friends make comments about my sexuality, and then proceeded to say he fantasized about other women during sex. Smoked. I told her to get a therapist to talk to about it but DO NOT TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT MY DICK essentially. It sounds like they were encouraging your wife and Tom to connect. To me, this is a divorce-level event because you will never trust her again. The only talking I'd be doing at that point would be discussing how she wants to split custody. You deserve so much better than this. I can understand your hurt, and breach of trust, but people act stupid sometimes. Dont just jump straight to divorce. 2. It seems like it doesnt bother your one guy friend all that much and maybe having it a little out in the open will be nice. I doubt your own friends would even care, they might tease you a little but thats what friends do. Did she give me advice? I would not have been able to control myself the same way no doubt. She outed you to your group of friends without asking you about it. After a very long silence, she said, "I guess we'll see how it all comes out in the wash anyway." They went to bed soon after. She probably just wants to belong and is afraid to stand up to, i am guessing here, to friends with stronger personalities. Slipping up and sharing something very private about your husband is betrayal enough. And I've faced this with my family-- I shut that crap down with a quickness. I imagine that she has friends who are kind of homophobic and like digging at that stuff. For years. They were talking about ex-boyfriends and how another mutual friend of them cheated on her husband with an ex-boyfriend because he was better in bed. Isn't this basically reverse sexism? The only reason you know of this disrespect is because you accidentally heard them saying stuff behind your back? Hes outed now. Then, when I was in the bathroom (just outside of their bedroom door), I could hear them talking about me. Kids do the joking crap and make fun of boyfriends, not decent women. Saying that it was simply too small. Dont let your wifes shitty behavior ruin your confidence and self worth. You never speak about your wife in that manner so why do you have to put up with it. And can think clearly. . This given that she initiates the sex games, and probably will never admit to friends that she enjoys them as a kink to keep the bedroom alive and hot. But it sounds like maybe those are friends of hers she should reconsider her position with. Will you ever be able to trust her with any important information again? Remind her of this without judging. It sounds like you're discovering a side of your wife you didn't know about. But Im not sure I know anyone who hasnt. If my bf were you, I'd imagine he would do the same exact thing. From what Ive been told by friends and family my wife and Tom had a hot and cold volatile relationship and he was not the best to her (cheating, controlling). I don't think this information should have been said. BigbigbigBIIIIG yikes. If you do want to try to stay with her then, at minimum, you need to insist on marriage counseling immediately and you also need to insist that she completely cut the two homophobic/judgmental friends out of her life. Most people in the comments seem to be going off of the deep end here. I (45M) have been married to my wife (45F) for 20 years. Sorry bro, you got something thinking to do First of all, you're right to cool down before making decision on anything. I'd be very hesitant about taking her words at face value. Though she made some comments around it to her female friends, I would not take those seriously (imagining other men etc). Itll be hurtful to both of you for a long time and you probably both need therapy but if you truly do love each other, itll be worth it. You are both going to be have to go to couples therapy and individual therapy sessions. A random guy you barely know has stuck more by you tonight than your own wife does on the regular. They had quiet music playing and were talking amongst themselves. Do not make them feel you're different because you're not! Is the point of using your throwaway so she doesnt see your other post history? Not such perfect marriage after all. Not one woman was shocked or uncomfortable, just derogatory. Wouldnt your wifes friend be able to identify you anyway from the story? Who cares if she feels pressured by her friends to make fun of your sexuality or thinking about Tom, she either has shitty friends or she needs to take accountability for her actions and learn to grow up. Both were pretty against it and kind of gave me a hard time about trying it with my husband and even liking it. So props to you. German Husband let Young Boy Fuck his Wife in Threesome 14:30. Doesnt make it right. Life is great and were very blessed. Idc who they are. I 100% understand why you're so upset. Great comment. And sometimes its nice to vent about the small stuff and have close friends relate to you and help you feel youre not alone. She basically said, well if you werent listening at the door you wouldnt be upset right now. Second, if you know somebody is making fun of you over something so intimate and personal, how can you enjoy it again? 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