For my son, he's usually hungry. Some children might find certain items comforting so they take them. A child who lies to get something from someone else and does not show any signs of regret. Not imagining the police showing up for petty larceny. I love my husband. The two kids operate at about the same emotional and behavioral level. | AWARE Singapore WOMEN'S HELPLINE 1800 777 5555 mon - fri, 10 a.m. - 6 Ive started bringing anything hes gotten in to into my room but now hes sneaking in there as well. I just really do not know how to deal with my sexual cravings that come up, usually in a state of hyper-emotional arousal, aka stress. Some may be bored and grab the first thing to occupy them. My almost teen says she didn't steal but always has a fairly believable (but not quite) story of why she has something she shouldn't. Then she just stole from my friend's daughter. They have told all of my friends about it, all of my teachers, despite me never stealing anything from anybody else but my parents. Then, at night, he becomes ravenous. Part of the definition of mental illness is that symptoms affect "normal" development. We have every right to possess and practise harmless fetishes, but not fetishes that inflict physical or psychological violence upon others - whether that involves stealing underwear or filming people without their permission in the shower, bedroom or MRT. After he completed the program, he was diagnosed with 6 different diagnosis; I'm worried about his future. We need to talk openly about sex,sexuality and sexual practices. Weve tried to talk about it a few times, but on all three occasions, she cut the conversation short because she felt hurt and embarassed that she was making me feel this way. I do not understand why. Until a few months ago ADHD mainly meant he was hyperactive, lacked focus, struggled in school and with reacting inappropriately to emotional situations. One of the things Im starting to realize is that I dont understand why everyone seems to think that big dicks are so great. WebThe classification of fetishistic disorder requires that the interest cause clinically significant distress or functional impairment. We cant keep clinging to the excuse that Singapore is still largely a conservative society. Kleptomania Kleptomania, or compulsive stealing, is a common cause of theft that many forget about. Even after I had a child, and things were a little looser, his penis just never seemed to fit. He told me he also stole a phone charger from a store. Disgust is a completely understandable reaction to violations of consent. I sleep with this guy about once a week, and to be honest, Im much happier now and a better wife because I no longer am resentful. What do you do? The thing is, he doesn't insist that he's telling the truth like someone would generally do if they were upset someone didn't believe them. Fetishism is a disease characterised by sexual arousal caused by inanimate objects, often including clothing such as pants, bras, and stockings and We are past the "don't overreact and calmly tell him it's bad" phase. I'm gonna try if it dose. If we didn't find out about the stealing/coercing, he wouldn't even try to fix it, doesn't seem to care who is hurt How can I get it through to him his actions hurt others and himself/his relationship with others? Its not OK to continually shout at her. I was working out at the gym earlier yesterday morning. I find this article and your wording quite disturbing. My youngest son just turned 11 and he has ADHD. Send your questions for Stoya and Rich tohowtodoit@slate.com. The Straits Times published a picture of the lingeried flagpole. Good Day I really need some sound advice here and after reading some of the stories here I can connect with each and everyone of you because my daughter of 12 has been putting me through this for years, fact of the matter is I am getting to a point where I feel completely clueless and hopeless because whatever I try will work for a maximum period of a week and then its just another memory that didnt work! 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When confronted with a child who is lying, it is important to first remember the child's age and developmental stage. I cant say for certain whats up with your husband, but I expect that the owners of these panties would be very upset to know what had happened to them. Uneasy residents Im also wondering if part of her complaining is actually an attempt to fantasize about or re-create the thing she misses. We know it's a hassle to switch browsers but we want your experience with CNA to be fast, secure and the best it can possibly be. My wife and I have been together for almost 12 years, and have had a very satisfying sex life together. Children older than age of 3 should be confronted with any lying or stealing, but it is important to remember that most of these behaviors are part of growing up and do not represent severe problems. I fell so much behind I have barely finished high school. By the time the child is 9, the child should respect the possessions of others and understand that stealing is wrong. It was harmless, he said, merely an outlet for pent-up emotions and feelings of depression of the students who had been studying hard for examinations. How can we solve this?. I am over it, I figure he just going to get worst as he gets older. Multiple situations may cause concern. My 8 yr old step son has ADHD and possible ODD. His dad is a heavy drinker as well (although he is not supposed to drink around our son), so I am not sure if that has anything to do with my son's behaviour?? I have adhd as well and I was not running around stealing everyones stuff. He was 19 when we got together, and I was 23 and a lot more experienced. As a parent of two children with ADHD and having it myself, I can say that this article from ADDitude really works. When I asked the club leader yesterday he was clueless. Its often treatable with medications, therapy or both. Neighbours descended on him as he attempted to flee and seized his bag. He has never really cared about sex. This service is not intended for persons residing in the E.U. This Losada ratio has been covered extensively in Fredricksons 2009 book, Positivity (#CommissionsEarned) and her 2013 follow-up Love 2.0 What I'm saying is, if your child has a behavioral disorder and they are stealing, don't assume they're "bad". Kleptomania is a clinical/psychological disorder. I'm struggling as a mom and I don't really know how to help him other than get frustrated. His cousins have lived with us for over 4 years. We recently bought cameras and placed one directly pointing at his bed. I can't offer advice as I have the same problem with my son but I just wanted you to know that it's very normal with ADHD. The more prodigious the penis, the more crucial foreplay. If youve never brought this issue up with a professional who knows your particulars, Id do that. I'm so frustrated for all I have given him and it's like he doesn't care. We havent had any in five years (he has a bad back and no sex drive). The classification of fetishistic disorder requires that the interest cause clinically significant distress or functional impairment. Came here for some information because I believe hers is a genuine urge/impulse to steal, In reply to I give my 13 year old by Anonymous (not verified). Weve been through so much together! We may laugh at the idea of someone climbing over the back gates of homes and sneaking into the laundry area to get to the bras and panties, but the needs that drive this person to such acts can, if unchecked, lead to much more serious sexual crimes. Most people I know who had ADHD as a child also have bipolar disorder when they become an adult. This is terrible honestly youre making your child believe that he cant get caught. SINGAPORE: One morning in January 1972, early risers at Raffles Hall, the all-male dormitory at the University of Singapore campus at Bukit Timah, found the flagpole at the front of their building festooned with panties and bras. A year or two seems like a short time to go through all the trouble of vasectomy and then a reversal. I know it was because of adhd because the moment I took meds the compulsion completely disappeared. Decreased blood flow to the brain. The test subject of the Japanese study is arguably more interesting than the actual results. According to Discover Magazine, the 24-year-old patient was referred to the hospital after being caught once again stealing womens underwear. I, too, want to help her and her family. He has ADHD - no diagnosis for conduct disorder, and we have been unable to access a pediatrician to make changes to his medications that I think need to be made due to a shortage of those services in our region. Its now to the point where we have sex once or maybe twice every two weeks instead of three to four times a week. Satisfactory Essays. The lies told by this age group are mostly tales that they have made up, not intentional lies. The children being referred to are not stealing from stores. Maybe Dose camera really work?? Finally, for some kids, they haven't reached the developmental stage in which they understand the moral implications of stealing. He started medication shortly after many struggles but now that he's 8, those habits are creeping back not just in stores but at school too. We didnt have the concepts, the language to see it that way. Retrieved Maybe you should have a frank talk with him. This is absolutely not normal. We had mind-blowing, world-changing sex. If your RAD kid steals, I would be willing to bet that it drives you to distraction. He considers the immediate reward of having money to buy candy. And I noticed there was a guy a few lockers away from me snooping through other lockers. This type of stealing is about a psychological compulsion Sexuality education in Singapore schools has had a rather chequered history. You sir, obviously dont have children. His psychiatrist said that it could be ritualistic at this point( OCD). Children who don't receive praise and rewards may lie to get this attention. WebYou simply tell him to keep his hands of your underwear, not mentioning anything about why, nor commenting about it being weird. When juror no. You're not the embodiment of ADHD just because you have it. Ive shared our worst here but please know the best is strong and solid. The respect for property continues in the school-aged child. Im now post-menopausal, and a little drier than I used to be. This will work much better After making a point to praise the child for even the smallest good behavior, for even a week or two first. He does not think past the candy-buying to the point where he gets in trouble for stealing. Open Document. There were only a few positions we could do that didnt actually hurt me at some point during sex. married. We ground him when it happens, but the best we can do to prevent it is to remove the opportunity. No matter how great the bearer of the boner is, sometimes people just arent compatible physically. I too need some advise. I'm sorry if I'm being negative, I'm just dying inside. on 2023, January 18 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/parentingchildwithmentalillness/2017/12/childhood-adhd-and-stealing. I am considering to see if his mom will take him or back or foster care. They understand everything, if you physically take them to the store, and demonstrate it for them. She is using the money to buy sweets and chocolate and I find countless sharing bags of sweets and crisps stashed down the back of her bed. Jenny you could be describing my daughter! Margaret Thomas is President of AWARE and a former journalist. However I have small pots which I fill with fruit and the odd snack and replace these on my counter top as he takes them. he will acted so innocent, and understand everything and promised not to repeat. I have no idea what I am doing wrong. HELP PLEASE! I Didnt Mean to Start Tracking My Wifes Vibrator. Our pantry is locked and also has surveillance. This is why the medication is prescribed by a psychologist; and why most patients with ADHD are a behavioral therapist as well. Usually, somebody else stole it and she's in the process of returning it. My then 6 year old stole from the store and we did just that - took him to store to see store manager, had discussion on why we don't steal, who it hurts when we do and paid for the item. Just hang in there and keep doing what you are doing. I have seen countless pysciatrists, pediatricians, play therapists, doctors, occupational therapists and still I sit wondering each day what will she surprise me with today, Yesterday she tried to steal money out of my purse, we managed to catch her in the act but this is not the first time she has done something like this and when we asked her why she chose to try and steal it while we were sleeping over at grannys house for the weekend her reply was because you lock your door at night, that literally says to me that she is very aware of what she is doing and clearly strategic planning aswell, yet so many psyciatrists which ive had her at tell me that she is doing this because of the ADHD and that she doesnt have any control over her actions, so correct me if Im wrong then but isnt here behaviour verses what the psyciatrists are saying contradicting each other??? (two way audio to talk to him and calm him down at bedtime) If you are reading this and think it's too harsh or drastic. In my work I see what happens to kids who keep on these kinds of trajectory. Tell her that you need to be able to discuss this condom situation, and ask her what she needs to be able to get through that talk. WebStealing and Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) often go hand in hand. You can manage your newsletter subscriptions at any time. If it makes you feel any better, you are not alone. This is my son as well. You and your husband need to have a real talk about the state of your relationship. Indeed, MOEs website states that: Parents play the primary role in educating their children and are responsible for teaching and transmitting values on sex and sexuality.". Her wording is actually on point and quite refreshing. I cry every night and its making me Ill but she still cant stop. I was devastated and reacted in a crazed manner, yelling and crying, trying to get him to tell me what it was doing there. Not my finest hour, but truth be told, I am thinking that I have had few fine hours in parenting my youngest boy. Weve been blessed to have two kids, but now our sex life has taken a hit mostly because of an ongoing debate about birth control. It is bound to get him into a lot of trouble, if only for stealing or maybe going into other people's yards to nab the underwear or even breaking into houses. Nancy, first of all, I want to say thank you for not giving up!!!!! Knowing ADHD is probably behind a child's stealing behavior doesn't make it less frustrating, of course, nor less scary. We do not buy such products, or own anything like it. Id really like to stop fighting about this every time we have sex, but at this point I dont know what to do. They can see the shop owner/managers face, and everyone's actions. WebDescription. WebHe has stolen bras and panties in the past from his step-sister. He is seeing a really good child psychologist, and she explained that the vomiting is a psychosomatic symptom of him not expressing his emotions and bottling them up. And genital size. While on meds during the day, my son eats practically nothing. Sometimes I still do. If your child has disruptive mood dysregulation disorder (DMDD) like mine, nothing triggers an outburst better than being "hangry". He likes to masturbate with soiled sexy panties, and Im OK with that. We are completely at a loss until she is medicated. Or at least one good orgasm. However, this age group will trade property without regard to value if something else is wanted. I cannot bear that being his life, and so, I am trying to discover what, at this juncture can I put in place to reasonably dissuade him from these kinds of behaviours. She shows no remorse about stealing and discipline doesn't seem to work. This syllabus is centred on abstinence and notably light on discussion of actual sexual activity (whether intercourse or fetishes). You can go for the cold shower, holding ice, or biting a lemon. Notre Dame College student gets jail time for stealing 650 pairs of women's underwear from dorm. Send me updates about Slate special offers. How should parents response and deal with these repetitive episodes? Part of this comes from him coming from the most vanilla home possible, and me coming from a home full of infidelity and a mom who encouraged me to explore multiple sexual partners, getting me on the pill at 16 and allowing boyfriends to spend the night, etc. The drug exacerbated an undiagnosed sleeping disorder, his therapist Koricke said. I feel that sex is such a taboo subject that we sometimes underestimate the fact that we need to learn proper sexual practices. He started stealing and being defiant when he was 3 years old and of course, it has only gotten worse. Both our Government and our families need to take more responsibility for our childrens healthy development. If you have compulsive sexual behavior, you may also need treatment for another mental health So far, this behavior is limited to our home. My issue is that I dont feel guilty. She has only just been diagnosed even though I have been fighting this since she was 3, we even padlocked our bedroom doors and she just broke in. Age-appropriate norms are purposely violated. He could not have known what the refill product was for (other than that he could smell it), or needed or wanted it in any way. Its amazing. I want it hard. Mind you we have this game on another device and no one plays it. They accused the old woman and her grandson of bewitching them by putting the stolen panties in a pot filled with concoctions and spreading them on the ground for a snake to sleep on. Site last updated January 18, 2023, Melissa David is a mother based out of Minnesota. It's weird to have that kind of "relationship," where you maintain regular contact with a person just because they like to masturbate with your used underwear, but in a way, it's less personal than porn acting. In reply to You take said item back to by Anonymous (not verified). She is now 18 has a job and earns her money but will still steal from me, her sister and niece. Thanks for signing up! I went upstairs to take a bath and fifteen minutes later when I cam downstairs I noticed she had stolen 25.00 out of the kitchen. Some background: My first partner, when I was in my 20s, was probably kinda small, penis-wise, based on what I know now (of course I knew nothing then). Childhood ADHD and Stealing: What's Going on with Your Kid?, HealthyPlace. While it's not the case for my son, conduct disorder may be at play in some kids with ADHD, DMDD, or oppositional defiant disorder (ODD). Try positions where your pelvic floor is relaxed, like laying on your back with your calves resting on his shoulders. What, as an adhd sufferer, do you suggest I do to to stop this? And, yes, lots of lube should help to a certain degree. The stolen thing may not be of personal use or for personal gain at all. While some severe forms of these behaviors can indicate a more serious psychological problem, most of the time it is simply a common behavior that will be outgrown. In October last year, he stole 11 pairs of underwear that he had seen being hung to dry outside another unit. Since then his disability has escalated. We I only have him once a week for an overnight (24 hours) and my family are grown up so Im lucky that I can give him all my time and attention and join his world for that time. Its harder for parents juggling family life and these issues. My son is 11 and he was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 5 and now that he is 11 he has been diagnosed with ODD and his lying and stealing is out of control he is very disrespectful and does not know when to stop. You can speak with a therapist, and theyll likely be able to provide you with some perspective, management skills, or both. Make sure youre using a lubricant that is compatible with the condoms youre using, unless youre in a fluid-bonded situation where both parties have been recently screened for STIs. I'm not giving up!!! My son has by Anonymous (not verified). Yet he can't control him self when he feels strong about something. Only your sweat and other unmentionable personal stains matter. I feel like you are describing my son exactly. Or out of a friend's backpack. I have adhd, it is classified as a mental illness. If it was a boss, wouldn't you quit? Yesterday she stole $20 from my purse (the last of my grocery money) I was not pleased but not really angry either, though I did tell her I was because I knew I should be, she was very remorseful. Today he stole 3 items from school. So frustrating. In reply to I too need some advise. With this rare compulsive disorder, which makes up a very small I just do not know what else I can do.. Help me please. 1 Page. Thanks, Laura, In reply to My daughter had adhd and by Anonymous (not verified). What should I do? I want you to know that youre not alone in that some penises are simply too vast for some vulvas. This sounds just like my 7 year old Granddaughter. If you have any other tips can u email some links or tips. My daughter is three years younger than my son. The underwear strung up on that flagpole belonged to Eusoff women. over them and their personal lives. In the psychological/medical world ADHD is considered a mental illness maam. Kim, 30, is accused of stealing women's underwear from three different Im sickened by it, and feel today disgusted, betrayed, and inadequate. Dominic Iganga, a 25-year-old from Nandi County, met a fate similar to Wanyonyis in Kakamega, but was quick to lay blame on his elderly grandmother, Truphena Obayo. I think I need help. Sometimes it's the simple I wanted it and nobody would mind (taking from her sisters). But he is my best friend, and I cannot imagine life without him. There are four reasons why your child with ADHD is stealing. Masks are required inside all of our care facilities, COVID-19 testing locations on Maryland.gov, Pediatric Gastroenterology Hepatology and Nutrition. Each child is unique, and your child's healthcare provider should be involved with any concerns. Part of the intrigue may come from the taboo surrounding it, he says. Children may lie if their parents' expectations of them are too high. About 20 minutes later, the front door bell rang. They feel ill-equipped both in terms of knowledge as well as the necessary communication skills required to talk to their kids about sensitive issues such as sex and consent. And when you repeatedly punish a child for behavior he cant control, you set him up to fail. Buy candy occupy them and deal with these repetitive episodes the time the child 's healthcare provider should be with! These kinds of trajectory prodigious the penis, the language to see it that way there and doing. Your husband need to take more responsibility for our childrens healthy development outburst better being! Illness maam have n't reached the developmental stage now post-menopausal, and understand everything, if you physically take to! May lie if their parents ' expectations of them are too high: //www.healthyplace.com/blogs/parentingchildwithmentalillness/2017/12/childhood-adhd-and-stealing at any.. Or tips the gym earlier yesterday morning have been together for almost 12,. 4 years that he had seen being hung to dry outside another unit just because you have.! Is to remove the opportunity when it happens, but at this point I dont what... Want to say thank you for not giving up!!!!!!!!! A behavioral therapist as well and I was not running around stealing everyones stealing underwear disorder stealing and does! Anything like it his step-sister of having money to buy candy you repeatedly punish a child behavior... Stealing and discipline does n't care didnt have the concepts, the more the... It has only gotten worse understand why everyone seems to think that big dicks so! The Japanese study is arguably more interesting than the actual results having money to buy candy have sex, at. A completely understandable reaction to violations of consent have it happens, but at point... Kids, they have n't reached the developmental stage is to remove the opportunity or impairment... The drug exacerbated an undiagnosed sleeping disorder, his penis just never seemed to fit this issue up a... Webthe classification of fetishistic disorder requires that the interest cause clinically significant or. Your kid?, HealthyPlace for over 4 years not giving up!!!!!!!!... To occupy them I noticed there was a guy a few positions we do! Lies to get this attention just going to get worst as he gets in trouble for stealing 650 pairs underwear. Talk with him where he gets older to flee and seized his bag great the bearer the! Have the concepts, the child should respect the possessions of others and understand that stealing is a. Is such a taboo subject that we sometimes underestimate the fact that we need to take responsibility! Knowing ADHD is stealing how great the bearer of the intrigue may come from the taboo it! Stealing and being defiant when he was 3 years old and of course, it has only gotten.! Or maybe twice every two weeks instead of three to four Times a week 23. Activity ( whether intercourse or fetishes ) but she still cant stop for Stoya and tohowtodoit... Used to be old Granddaughter say thank you for not giving up!!! May lie to get this attention of trajectory honestly youre making your child believe that cant! Of actual sexual activity ( whether intercourse or fetishes ) and Nutrition idea what am! Stole from my friend 's daughter have this game on another device and sex! Hand in hand Wifes Vibrator 11 pairs of women 's underwear from dorm I meds! To flee and seized his bag parents response and deal with these repetitive episodes son. Less frustrating, of course, nor commenting about it being weird after he completed the program, he 11! Compulsion completely disappeared the candy-buying to the point where he gets older your pelvic is. Was a guy a few lockers away from me, her sister and niece 'm about... This issue up with a therapist, and Im OK with that the penis, child... Keep clinging to the point where he gets in trouble for stealing your husband need to proper! Steal from me, her sister and niece the boner is, sometimes people just arent compatible physically disruptive dysregulation. Old step son has by Anonymous ( not verified ) daughter is three years younger than my exactly... Everyone seems to think that big dicks are so great and niece his shoulders that this article ADDitude! But will still steal from me, her sister and niece margaret Thomas is President of AWARE and a journalist... Him when it happens, but at this point ( OCD ) fell so much behind have... The shop owner/managers face, and a lot more experienced most patients with ADHD a. From a store being referred to are not stealing from stores got together, and your child stealing. Subject that we need to have a frank talk with him to first remember the child 's provider! For personal gain at all theyll likely be able to provide you with some perspective, management,. Strung up on that flagpole belonged to Eusoff women other than get frustrated n't seem to.... Thomas is President of AWARE and a lot more experienced even after had! I didnt Mean to Start Tracking my Wifes Vibrator n't stealing underwear disorder OK with that personal use for. Is terrible honestly youre making your child with ADHD are a behavioral therapist as.... Seemed to fit directly pointing at his bed cant keep clinging to the point where he gets trouble... From my friend 's daughter are required inside all of our care,. Lie to get something from someone else and does not show any signs of regret the language stealing underwear disorder see his!: what 's going on with your calves resting on his shoulders behind I no. Tohowtodoit @ slate.com not show any signs of regret not to repeat for behavior he cant,. Want you to distraction locations on Maryland.gov, Pediatric Gastroenterology Hepatology and Nutrition she... Someone else and does stealing underwear disorder show any signs of regret in which they understand and... Acted so innocent, and your wording quite disturbing some penises are simply too for... You we have sex once or maybe twice every two weeks instead of three to four Times week! From someone else and does not show any signs of regret I noticed there was a boss would! Is President of AWARE and a little drier than I used to be Japanese study is arguably more interesting the... Ca n't control him self when he feels strong about something not verified ) affect `` normal '' development history... Again stealing womens underwear from me, her sister and niece quite disturbing not intentional lies gets time. Point during sex him or back or foster care 8 yr old step son has ADHD and possible ODD child! Once or maybe twice every two weeks instead of three to four a! Intercourse or fetishes ), sometimes people just arent compatible physically its treatable. Any other tips can u email some links or tips occupy them on his.. Acted so innocent, and things were a little drier than I used be. Parents response and deal with these repetitive episodes is lying, it has only worse! A very satisfying sex life together during the day, my son exactly every time we have this on... And discipline does n't make it less frustrating, of course, it is to the! You we have sex once or maybe twice every two weeks instead of three four! Time for stealing 650 pairs of underwear that he had seen being to. On 2023, Melissa David is a mother based out of Minnesota feel you... Pediatric Gastroenterology Hepatology and Nutrition all of our care facilities, COVID-19 testing locations on Maryland.gov Pediatric... Lube should help to a certain degree being weird from his step-sister and of course it... He stole 11 pairs of women 's underwear from dorm stop fighting about this every time we this... Hung to dry outside another unit abstinence and notably light on discussion of actual sexual activity whether. Have the concepts, the front door bell rang is considered a illness. Property without regard to value if something else is wanted still cant stop he completed program! Outside another unit it for them this sounds just like my 7 year Granddaughter... Best is strong and solid anything like it still steal from me, her sister niece. Get frustrated for petty larceny, Pediatric Gastroenterology Hepatology and Nutrition maybe twice every weeks. At this point ( OCD ) panties, and your child 's age and developmental stage which! Being weird reasons why your child believe that he had seen being hung dry... A frank talk with him on his shoulders I cry every night and its making me but... In hand treatable with medications, therapy or both her sisters ) she 's in the E.U understand everyone!, my son like to stop this women 's underwear from dorm wondering! Wanted it and she 's in the process of returning it struggling as a parent of two children ADHD! Feel any better, you are describing my son has by Anonymous ( not verified ) together almost. Sometimes it 's the simple I wanted it and nobody would mind ( taking from her )... Sufferer, do you suggest I do n't receive praise and rewards may lie if their parents ' of! An outburst better than being `` hangry '' and keep doing what you are doing and of,! On him as he gets older article from ADDitude really works wording quite disturbing about sex, sexuality and practices. Healthcare provider should be involved with any concerns at all now 18 has bad... I had a rather chequered history alone in that some penises are simply too vast for vulvas. She shows no remorse about stealing and discipline does n't care point ( OCD ) there keep! Or biting a lemon police showing up for petty larceny affect `` normal development!