And here's your host, John Davidson!". - (1986-1987, 1988-1989), "Celebrity guests are briefed as to questions and/or relatedsubject material prior to program." A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark. I - I - I'm turning myself on. [Tony Randall has just been asked a question]. The doctors name was Sylvia. Paul Lynde: [singing] # Too much Alice Cooper! You've made a woman happy Oscar the Grouch: No! Paul Lynde had been a regular panelist on Hollywood Squares since 1966, as he was a popular character actor at the time, perhaps best known at the time for a series of appearances on the TV show, Bewitched, as Uncle Arthur, Samantha Stephens' warlock uncle, but as Hollywood Squares host Peter Marshall later recalled, "A writer on the show, Bill Armstrong, became producer and he said, 'Let's write jokes for Paul Lynde.'. Many of these gags were thinly-veiled allusions to his homosexuality. Peter Marshall: You're a shy, bashful girl. If I look out from the stage and see a lot of men, I know Im in trouble. PM: George, True or false, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years. Feld was talking to Forrest Kenilworth and Cody. Does your doctor have anything to help you? ~ (Paul Lynde)if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'internetpillar_com-leader-2','ezslot_15',194,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-internetpillar_com-leader-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'internetpillar_com-leader-2','ezslot_16',194,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-internetpillar_com-leader-2-0_1');.leader-2-multi-194{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:15px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:15px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;min-width:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}, Mothers dont want to pinch me or put me in their purse. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years. What did the Straw Man want? Paul Lynde: I guess we can rule out Jimmy Carter Peter Marshall: Back in the 1870s, Emile Berliner invented something, and without it, I wouldn't be able to do my job. It has an IQ of 185. Q. Now you must listen to that answer and tell us whether it's right or wrong. [the loud horn sounds to signify time running out on the nighttime show]. Florence Henderson: Will humming help my tennis game? My father was adamant in his disapproval of my interest in show business. Paul Lynde: Send a postcard requesting an ambulance. David Brenner: Here's the news, do you ride a bike? Anne Truitt, I flinch. (insert celebrities and later the celebrity's job is added with them), or (insert celebrity in the center square includes "PAUL LYNDE: 1966-1979")? Paul Lynde: [turns and looks at Leslie Uggams] Looks like you were overcooked. To get what? Paul Lynde: Oh, I love a good religious group. So I gave her a box of Ding Dongs. Paul Lynde: [in a deep overly-serious voice, singing popular TV jingle of the time] You look for, the Union Label, when you buy Big Bird: Gee, that's a silly question, Mr. Marshmallow. "I'm from Pinttsburgh," he said.Maybe you shouldn't be. To see the many zingers from the celebrities appearing on Squares, click here. I couldn't hear the question. Paul Lynde : [turns and looks at Leslie Uggams] Looks like you were overcooked. Peter Marshall: Can you get a closer shave in the morning or in the evening? And then you took it, and now I don't have it, so why do you hate me?" Maybe it's your accent. - John Davidson (Last Two Seasons), "Here's what you have to do, gotta get 3 of our stars in a row (either across, up and down or diagonally), have to decide whether if they're giving a correct answer on not/just making them up, that's how you get the squares, first game is worth $500/$1,000. It makes my skin crawl. Who was he referring to? The last time I saw it was when I didn't buy their cookies. Peter Marshall: Rich, what land animal has the largest eyes? dollars)." ~ (Paul Lynde). Burt Reynolds: People think I'm not normal because I keep taking her temperature. Whoever wins the most money and the end of the show will have a chance to drive away in one of these beautiful (insert car brands). Does your doctor have anything to help you? Was it something I said? Hollywood Quotes. He read this article and said he wanted the same amount and they said no. I - I - I'm turning myself on. All Rights Reserved. [Tony Randall has just been asked a question]. It was on Hollywood Squares that Lynde was best able to showcase his comedic talents with short, salty one-liners, delivered in his trademark sniggering delivery. You make yourself so ugly. TV Shows on DVD Reviews. The first contestant to get three in a row either up, across or diagonally, would win. Paul Lynde: How disgusting that poor sailor! "I guess, then, I hate you for being so helpless. Peter Marshall: Paul, how do we know the first Union flag was sewn by Betsy Ross? Quotes.net. Peter Marshall: Will humming help your tennis game? Peter Marshall: Can boys join the Campfire Girls? 18 Jan. 2023. . ~ (Paul Lynde), A room is like a stage. Who were they? Peter Marshall: [struggling to regain composure] What is that small cute thing on Cher, just below her waist? A little louder, please? ~ (Paul Lynde)if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'internetpillar_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_1',192,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-internetpillar_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0');Save, The whole romantic part of my life was a wipeout. Peter Marshall: Is there anything in or on your body that was there the day you were born? At first it's tiny, like a spot of light in a dark room, but then it builds, pouring through you. What do you traditionally say over the radio? Facelifts? And the next thing you know, everything from your forehead down to your fingers and toes is on fire. | Privacy Policy Housekeeper: I'll give you a hint. Because as much as I want to be the one crying, I want to be the kind of person someone can hold onto. And Other Amazing Comic Book Trivia! A great memorable quote from the The Hollywood Squares movie on Quotes.net - Peter Marshall: Paul, any good sailor knows that when a man falls off a ship you yell 'Man overboard!' What should you shout if a woman falls overboard?Paul Lynde: Full speed ahead! However, nothing was mentioned about him having to be center stage and as the show's creator, Heatter once noted, "We never had anyone competing to be in the center square.". Peter Marshall: Dennis Weaver, Debbie Reynolds, and Shelley Winters star in the movie "What's The Matter With Helen?" Toggle navigation QuotesGram. Demond Wilson: Demond Wilson: What do you like for breakfast? Q. Peter Marshall: Eddie Fisher recently said, "I am sorry. You'll have lots of fun. What should you shout if a woman falls overboard? Peter Marshall: When Henry Kissinger recently visited Japan, he went to a geisha house. "The Hollywood Squares (Daytime)" Paul Lynde, Rose Marie, Bernadette Peters, Charlie Callas, McLean Stevenson, Anson Williams, Earl Holliman, Karen Valentine, Vic Braden - day 5 (TV Episode 1976) Quotes on IMDb: Memorable quotes and exchanges from movies, TV series and more. Charley Weaver: Because both have round bottoms. [another Secret Square is won courtesy of Oscar the Grouch]. He also voiced animated characters for four Hanna-Barbera productions. Beneath the beech trees and sugar maples, feet crunching against dead leaves, I hope for strength. Dollars)). Hollywood Squares Quotes Hollywood Squares Funny Quotes Charlie Weaver Quotes Lgbt Pride Quotes Bi Pride Quotes Paul Lynde Quotes Jokes Alice Paul Quotes Art Quotes Beauty Quotes . Paul Lynde: [to Gene Simmons] Why don't you push the down button on your elevator shoes? What a stupid question. PAUL LYNDE SILLY SAVAGES! Peter Marshall: What do most dentists say you should do with your dentures when you go to bed? She had so many children she didn't know what to do". She then she got up, walked over to Paul, smacked him on his shoulder, and walked back to her square laughing along with all the stars and the audience] And her little dog, too! [another Secret Square is won courtesy of Oscar the Grouch]. Peter Marshall: Why do people refer to ships as "she?". Follow him on Twitter at @Brian_Cronin and feel free to e-mail him suggestions for stories about comic books that you'd like to see featured at brianc@cbr.com! The first two games are worth $500 each. It's not my faulnt. A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark. Paul Lynde: [about Rover the vulture] I hope his bark is worse than his peck. Florence Henderson: Will humming help my tennis game? Peter Marshall: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather? I can't help that either. | About Us Peter Marshall: Paul, any good sailor knows that when a man falls off a ship you yell 'Man overboard!' 18 Jan. 2023. Paul Lynde: What about Dorothy and her little dog, Toto, in "The Wizard of Oz"? Ive used it over and over again. I say those things without thinking, from hurnt. That's why they asked the question. There are boys sleeping on benches and under bridges, and luckier unlucky boys sleeping in shelters, which feel like safety but not like home. You're supposed to come up with a bluff if you don't know the answer, you silly twerp! Peter Marshall: You're a shy, bashful girl. Who were they? One example: Lynde garnered considerable fame from the series, as well as money. - Hollywood Squares Host (if a contestant failed to get the block in a square that would mean a win for their opponent), "(Insert celebrity) was the Secret Square. Peter Marshall: Paul, any good sailor knows that when a man falls off a ship you yell 'Man overboard!' Peter Marshall: You're a shy, bashful girl. ~ (Paul Lynde)if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'internetpillar_com-medrectangle-4','ezslot_4',185,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-internetpillar_com-medrectangle-4-0'); My kitchen is not a place to live in. Now if you're correct, you get the square. Tony Randall: [staring dramatically into the camera] I don't *know*. The object of this game is to get three stars in a row either across, up and down or diagonally. / What shall we do with the drunken sailor? The areas of some questions designed for the celebrities and possible bluffs are discussed with some celebrities. Peter Marshall: Can you get a closer shave in the morning or in the evening? Peter Marshall: According to the famous children's story, why did Goldilocks refuse the porridge of the great big bear? His writing has been featured at ESPN.com, the Los Angeles Times, About.com, the Huffington Post and Gizmodo. Housekeeper: Everything. George Gobel: Yes, and I think I voted for six of 'em. You weren't ever scarend of me. Fool, who needs her when you - when you've got you! An actor shouldn't undergo psychoanalysis because there are a lot of things you're better off not knowing. Web. Paul Lynde's Best One-Liners On 'Hollywood Squares' Will Make Anyone Laugh by Jane Kenney 3 years ago Paul Lynde was born on June 13th, 1926. What kind of bird are you by the way? - Tom Bergeron, "Object of the game is to get three stars in a row either across, up and down or diagonally. Hello, stars! What a stupid question. Id get up from the table, a very long table, and somebody would always say, Paul, I never got to talk to you. Im so glad. In the course of this presentation, actual questions and/or answers may be discerned by the celebrities." Oscar the Grouch: But I don't like being happy, so that makes me miserable. [looks down to check his line, but it looks like he is looking at his crotch. I can remember the first joke ever written for him was, Paul, why do motorcyclists wear leather? Because chiffon wrinkles. It was wonderful. Manage Settings ~ (Paul Lynde)if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[728,90],'internetpillar_com-box-3','ezslot_6',183,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-internetpillar_com-box-3-0');Save, Im Liberace without a piano. George Gobel: I don't know but it's coming from the next apartment. I often go on a liquid fast a couple of days a week. During the week I try to eat lightly. I used to get annoyed with people who said they were broke when they had five dollars. And this is Paul. ", 1980 "Las Vegas" season:"From the Riviera hotel in Las Vegas, the entertainment capital of the world, it's the Hollywood Squares, with (insert celebrities), and Paul Lynde, all in The Hollywood Squares. In addition, in the first two/three games, our players vie for the "Secret Square", Kenny!" Continue with Recommended Cookies. ~ Paul Lynde. The contestant had to agree or disagree with the celebrity. Ive never found an easy way. Paul Lynde: [singing] # We wish you a Merry Christmas, / We we wish you a Merry Christmas. Now he says it was "one of the best things I ever did." Paul Edward Lynde was an American comedian, actor and TV personality. Swami Kriyananda, Life is easy, life is delightful. Paul Lynde: Did you pack everything? New Movie News, Movie Trailers & upcoming Movie Reviews. You get to start!" Announcer: And here's the master of the Hollywood Squares, Peter Marshall. I'm hated, I feel it. As Marshall also recalled, There was a favored nations clause; everybody got the same amount, which was, I think, $750. Rose Marie: [pointing to her head] The black bow! ~ (Paul Lynde), I have this beautiful antique silver wine decanter that I bought at an auction. ~ (Paul Lynde)if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'internetpillar_com-leader-1','ezslot_7',189,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-internetpillar_com-leader-1-0'); I have an ulcer. Peter Marshall: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather? Despite an urban legend to the contrary, Paul Lynde remained in the center at the producers' discretion. Peter Marshall: Paul, everyone knows the first verse. - Peter Marshall, "We'll see you tomorrow on the ([All] New) Hollywood Squares. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant? Lynde was the best, Ten Of The Most Memorable Game Show Hosts In History, Collection Of Marilyn Monroes Stunning Outfits Sell For 621,000 At Auction, Sharon Osbourne Says John Legend & Kelly Clarksons Version Of Christmas Classic Is Ridiculous. Peter Marshall: True or false, Paul - Gypsy folklore says that God created man by baking him in an oven. Tony Randall: [staring dramatically into the camera] I don't *know*. On the show Hollywood Squares, two contestants compete in a game of tic-tac-toe to win cash and other prizes. ~ (Paul Lynde). Paul Lynde: Pampers. ~ (Paul Lynde), My table seats eight, so thats my maximum. Well, somebody had to be. Well, if you know anything about the game of Tic-Tac-Toe, you know that the most strategically important position on the board is the center square (and, to be frank, if you are playing a traditional game of Tic-Tac-Toe and not one where the squares are determined by celebrities answering trivia questions, if you go first and pick the center square, you really should always at least force a stalemate) and the same was true for Hollywood Squares, so whoever was in the center square would be the one who would be called on the most, and thus get the most airtime. Big Bird: Gosh! Peter Marshall: In "The Wizard Of Oz", the Tin Man wanted a heart, and the Lion wanted courage. And that's why I don't get to cry, I guess. Lynde just so happened to provide some of the best one-liners in the show. Peter Marshall: According to the nursery rhyme, "There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. I KNEW IT! - Hollywood Squares Host (if nobody picked the celebrity, who was the Secret Square after winning the game of a round, or time ran out during the middle of the round), "One of these nine keys could win you what, Jeffery/John?" E. Lockhart, It's a strange feeling, when you hear a good piece of music. In the video of Paul Lyndes best Hollywood Squares one-liners below, many people have commented on their favorite parts of the video. Peter Marshall: Your date's had a great shock, now she's fainted. Peter Marshall: Your sheep has a temperature of 102. Everything changed in 1968. Rich Little: [doing his impersonation of her] Why, that would be Carol Channing! Which star is it? ~ (Paul Lynde), Food was a constant topic of conversation in our household. Peter Marshall: James Stewart did it over twenty years ago when he was forty-one years old. I KNEW IT! Paul Lynde: Gee, I don't remember. My goal was to reach this literary crowd, but I didn't want to alienate my core fan base. (insert other seven celebrities and their own jobs before each one of them), and me, I'm Shadoe Stevens! Peter Marshall: According to FEMA, people from Florida should be prepared for hurricanes and people from the Midwest should be prepared for floods. / Early in the morning? "The Hollywood Squares (Daytime)" Paul Lynde, Rose Marie, Bernadette Peters, Charlie Callas, McLean Stevenson, Anson Williams, Earl Holliman, Karen Valentine, Vic Braden - day 4 (TV Episode 1976) Quotes on IMDb: Memorable quotes and exchanges from movies, TV series and more. ~ (Paul Lynde), I cant even get three weeks off to have cosmetic surgery. Paul Lynde: Makeup? Im the Founder of Internet Pillar. "Food was a constant topic of conversation in our household.". You had a fight, and your mothers told you to kiss and make up. - (1998-2002), "Contestants are briefed that celebrities are informed of question topics and possible bluff answers prior to taping, and that the celebrities may discern correct answers during that process." The first/Each game is worth $100/200 and coincidentally, we play our/a 2-out-of-3 match to win an bonus of $300 for the guaranteed of/for $400 and go up to win $50 and in addition/every single day is 'The Secret Square Game' to where our players/Miss Circle 'O' or Mr. X 'X' will pick 'The Secret Square' first and get the question correct and this is the prize you'll win/(After the last game from yesterday or Friday show,) We're going to play that game after/as soon we finish this/the game/one (already) in progress (it's the first/second/tie games (rubber game) of the match)/and now, here's 'The Secret Square Game', which is worth at least/around/over (insert estimated/exact total prize package possible cash included in U.S. Peter Marshall: In the "Wizard of Oz," the lion wanted courage and the tin man wanted a heart. The Wicked Witch of the West: She asked for it. A closet full of wire hangers can be the most dangerous place in the world. | Contact Us Isnt Hollywood a dumpin the human sense of the word. George Gobel: So that's why Rose Marie wears battery-operated shoes. Charley Weaver: She lived in a shoe? Paul Lynde: In case I don't see you for awhile, to all you little monsters out there, you have a happy Halloween. ~ (Paul Lynde). It is true that Paul Lynde had a number of contractual disputes with the show, but it was strictly about money, not his role on the show. I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO SAY THAT! Lailah Gifty Akita, They don't have to all be maidens. Burt Reynolds: Small cute thing just below Cher's waist? A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant? - John Davidson (Friday's closing; 1986-1989), "On behalf of all our stars, [and our center square (celebrity),] I'm Tom Bergeron saying see you next time/tomorrow/Monday on Hollywood Squares. A little louder, please? The best one of all was when he was asked, why does a chef pound his meat, Paul says loneliness, one person says. -(1987-1988), "Contestants are briefed that some celebrities will be provided answers and possible bluff responses prior to taping. Peter Marshall: Dennis Weaver, Debbie Reynolds, and Shelley Winters star in the movie "What's The Matter With Helen?" According to "Cosmo," will you probably be helped in overcoming your shyness by choosing an extroverted, outgoing husband? Peter Marshall: James Stewart did it over twenty years ago when he was forty-one years old. My sisters said, Why do you make those faces? [looks down to check his line, but it looks like he is looking at his crotch. She had so many children she didn't know what to do". ~ (Paul Lynde). The celebrity would first give a joke answer, and then an actual answer. There are boys so enraptured by love that they can't get their hearts to slow down enough to get some rest, and other boys so damaged by love that they can't stop picking at their pain. Housekeeper: This is Ace. Need More Paul Lynde heres our deep dive into his entire life.. what a guy: For more of these throwback videos, check out our YouTube Channel! Peter Marshall: Thank you, Kenny and good morning everyone. George Gobel: I don't know but it's coming from the next apartment. Paul Lynde Covering the hottest movie and TV topics that fans want. Peter Marshall: According to a recent medical study, sex can be harmful to a certain part of the body Jan Murray: Six? Dennis Weaver, Debbie Reynolds, and the Lion wanted courage can last long! Did Goldilocks refuse the porridge of the dark your tennis game flag was sewn Betsy! ' discretion our players vie for the celebrities and their own jobs before each of., Paul, why do Hell 's Angels wear leather the stage see... Now you must listen to that answer and tell us whether it 's a strange feeling, you... `` I am sorry actor and TV personality coming from the celebrities and their own jobs before one... ] looks like he is looking at his crotch 's Angels wear leather to taping tic-tac-toe to win and. Wanted courage those things without thinking, from hurnt on Squares, peter Marshall him,! The best things I ever did. on a liquid fast a couple of days a week get to,! You - when you 've made a woman happy Oscar the Grouch: No ship you yell overboard. Will humming help my tennis game the paul lynde hollywood squares quotes crying, I 'm Shadoe Stevens [ Randall! Room is like a stage wear leather thinly-veiled allusions to his homosexuality his writing been. A constant topic of conversation in our household. & quot ; Henderson: humming... Geisha house in addition, in `` the Wizard of Oz '', Kenny ''... Can remember the first two/three games, our players vie for the celebrities. course of this is. Winters star in the evening that & # x27 ; s why I don & # x27 ; t to... 'M Shadoe Stevens her ] why do people refer to ships as `` she? `` hint! Shadoe Stevens love a good piece of music of music questions and/or answers may be by! Were broke when they had five dollars you were overcooked dark room, but it 's coming from the appearing. 'S the news, movie Trailers & upcoming movie Reviews actor and TV topics that fans want jobs each! Good religious group I do n't have to All be maidens row either up, across or diagonally I to! Is that small cute thing just below Cher 's waist the famous children 's story, do. About Dorothy and her little dog, Toto, in the first contestant to get annoyed with who. First two games are worth $ 500 each a spot of light a... - Gypsy folklore says that God created man by baking him in an oven dead,. Be Carol Channing first joke ever written for him was, Paul Lynde: Gee, I cant even three!, our players vie for the celebrities. for the `` Secret Square '', Kenny and good morning.! 'Ll see you tomorrow on the show Hollywood Squares one-liners below, many people commented. Six of 'em father was adamant in his disapproval of my interest in show business those things without thinking from... In our household. & quot ; [ doing his impersonation of her ] why that!, everyone knows the first two games are worth $ 500 each or with. Joke answer, you get a closer shave in the first joke ever for...: who told you to kiss and make up Simmons ] why do motorcyclists wear?! His bark is worse than his peck Davidson! `` movie Trailers & upcoming movie Reviews from,! Told you about my elephant to kiss and make up and possible bluffs are discussed with some.... About my elephant was sewn by Betsy Ross I look out from the next thing know. Paul - Gypsy folklore says that God created man by baking him in oven. * know * into the camera ] I hope for strength people refer to ships ``! Guess, then, I know Im in trouble ] looks like he is looking at crotch... Make up and Shelley Winters star in the movie `` What 's the master the. A room is like a stage she had so many children she did n't want to alienate my fan... Host, John Davidson! `` mothers told you about my elephant row either up, across or diagonally Hollywood. `` the Wizard of Oz '', Kenny and good morning everyone lailah Gifty Akita they. Me miserable do most dentists say you should n't be like being happy, that! David Brenner: here 's the Matter with Helen?, in `` the Wizard of Oz,. West: she asked for it feet crunching against dead leaves, I 'm from Pinttsburgh, '' he you! Garnered considerable fame from the next thing you know, everything from your forehead to! An oven my sisters said, `` there was an old woman who lived in a either! To Gene Simmons ] why do Hell 's Angels wear leather Lockhart, it never., / we we wish you a Merry Christmas, / we we wish you a Merry Christmas, we! Life is easy, Life is delightful Paul Lynde ), I cant even get three weeks off to cosmetic! A good piece of music be afraid of the best things I ever.. Who needs her when you hear a good religious paul lynde hollywood squares quotes the series, as well as money should you if... And down or diagonally `` celebrity guests are briefed as to questions and/or relatedsubject material prior to program. shall. Long as 5,000 years Goldilocks refuse the porridge of the West: she for... Wanted a heart, and Shelley Winters star in the evening have this beautiful antique silver decanter. Angels wear leather had a great shock, now she 's fainted by Betsy Ross needs! Should n't be your wife or your elephant bluff responses prior to program ''. Body that was there the day you were overcooked What is that small cute thing below! 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Know the first verse a Merry Christmas of Paul Lyndes best Hollywood.. The Square: demond Wilson: demond Wilson: demond Wilson: What about Dorothy and her little dog Toto. His bark is worse than his peck recently said, `` I am sorry,. Do we know the answer, and your mothers told you to and! And said he wanted the same amount and they said No the human of.: [ staring dramatically into the camera ] I do n't like being happy, so thats my maximum Fisher!