Yep,. Nothing says This parenting gig is easy! like using my sons last juice box as a mixer. "It's time to play 'Is My Kid Hugging Me or Cleaning His Nose or Both? My kid said her friends mom is having surgery because her boobs are too big for her back so I will now only be accepting kid explanations for medical procedures. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. #1 This will be funnier in 6 years after I'm through parenting teens LOL I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older and she laughed so hard she cried a little Katie D (@KatieDeal99) October 17, 2022 #2 Hahaha My son Luke loves that we named our children after Star Wars characters. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. But for those with the privilege of family planning, it's all about the timing. ". what ages does the sticky crusty food particles all over the fridge door handles stop? Took my 9yo to school. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. 5 min read. me: are you talking about a BOILED egg. Feb 4, 2022, 12:47 PM EST. Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! We rounded up some of the funniest recent parenting tweets we could find, and they are all parts hysterical: 1. Being so busy means its easy to forget about making memories with my kids I can tell she loved every four minutes of it before she went to watch TV and left me to do it all, Out of nowhere, my nephew just asked, Do you think Pavlov thought about feeding his dog every time he heard a bell ring? and now Im going to be haunted by this question. I panicked and said "Let's talk about where babies come from". You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Someday, God willing, I will attend my childrens weddings, refuse to eat what they serve and demand butter noodles and nuggets. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week (July 21, 2022) A wise woman once told me, "Darling, if you have a baby, then you can't be the baby ." Whenever I think I want to become the vessel for an infant's lifeblood, I am reminded that I am not ready to stop being the baby. I told him his birthday and the exact time of birth. Quick story - I know this parent whose kid stayed home from school one day this week. Janene #1 Why is this so true Get your kid a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near. Not today, tho. A KAZOO. Strangely enough though, a blocked number keeps texting to ask whats for dinner, Being a parent is wild because sometimes your kid has an insane idea like "let's move to Australia and rescue Koalas" and you'll be like "YES! Part of HuffPost Parenting. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. 15-12-2021 2 2. She already knows way too much about the apocalypse. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! *daughter asking for 500 toys at the store*Me: sorry, too expensive Daughter: cant you get more money?? Lets see how this plays out. Here are some of the best tweets I've come across this week. Published Jan 13, 2023. Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! 8: We only go. State of the Word 2021 just concluded in NYC. And then they hit you with the side effects, most of which would only make us more depressed. Adelaide Ross and Mantas Kaerauskas Of all the thankless jobs in the world, being a parent has got to be at the top of the list. Part of HuffPost Parenting. '". Image via @softbalIs on Twitter. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. I told him to eat my shorts cause that's hella whack home skillet. She wanted grandchildren, right? While teaching your teen to drive just know it's totally normal if you keep having flashbacks of the time they rode their tricycle over their sibling. !, gentle parenting, gentle parenting. To that end, every week we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Here are this week's dad jokes, mom puns, funny tweets, memes, and plain old rants from other parents. Parenting funny tweets tweets of the week best parenting tweets. because it's not 13, 9 and 7. Me: You mean red light, green light. This includes clips from How Did This Get Made (Leah asking a question at the Stone Cold live show in LA) and Doughboys (Burger King 6 with Jon Gabrus and Adam Pally) Leah Intro 1 - best movies of . 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. "Once your kid can pump their legs on the park swings, the second half of your life begins. If you're also struggling to put down the phone and need one more thing to scroll through before you do, these parenting tweets might do just that, and make you go "ho ho ho" in the process. I hope my friends dont find out I own a jacket.-Middle Schoolers. If youre on the fence about having kids you should know in the same day my toddler threw an entire open bottle of liquid Motrin in his room bc he didnt like the pjs I picked out but also earlier he hugged my husband and me, said mama, dada, we are a family Hope that helps. You will thank me for this later youre welcome. Believe it or not, we're at the end of 2022. told someone i was 36 today. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. 50 Funniest Parenting Memes + Tweets This Week by Chris Illuminati April 8, 2022 Comments 0 Welcome to another installment of " parents about to lose their shit" better known as the funniest parenting memes & tweets of the week. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Im writing a fantasy fiction novel about a mom that has a cold and her family does things for themselves while she rests. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Ill take the $200 portrait package of my child posing in this state of confusion and paralyzing surprise. What kind of inspirational bullshit has he been listening to? These 131 Hysterical Tweets Are Some Of The Only Things That Have Gotten Me Through 2022 So Far. Once they finally locate and open it, its just going to be filled with everything they made me out of sticks and cardboard in elementary school. 3. "Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice". My wife and I agreed to no gifts for our wedding anniversary, which is why Im out shopping right now. Jan 13, 2023, 03:53 PM EST. Our drop-off time is 8:24. I tell all 3 of my kids that they are the password child. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Took our 3 kids to a space museum today. This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: January 13, 2022. I asked my 3 year old why she was wearing a bathing suit to dinner as if Ive never met a toddler before, Teens are great because they remind you to take some time each day to hate something. It is my most sincere wish that in the past five days, your kids have not run you to the ground and ruined your hope for the next 360 days you have together. The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week (July 21, 2022) cheezburger.com 1d A wise woman once told me, "Darling, if you have a baby, then you can't be the baby." Whenever. An Apple Hat (@AnAppleHat) January 9, 2023. My wife and I are going to be super bummed if we dont get a good grade on our daughters science fair project. My toddlers plan for today is to throw snowballs at all the peoples so Im really looking forward to picking her up from daycare later, My 6-year-old asked, "why are they called speed bumps if they slow you down, they should be called slow bumps" & it's seriously amazing how someone with a 10-second attention span is so insightful, *giving my birthdate at the pharmacy9: mom were you born in the 1900s?me: dont ever speak to me that way again, I knew my 5yo was growing up too fast when he tried to take his shoes off and said I dont like bending down anymore, 6YO: i need to tell you something *tells me something i already know*ME: yeah i know6YO: but i need to tell you 100 more times. Being a parent is restraining yourself from asking your kid what the fuck are you talking about? The sound is rattling in my brain but yes lets talk about that monthly report. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. My kids just discovered they can watch YouTube on the hotel tv, so this vacation is over, One way to get coworkers to back off is to pull out your phone and say here let me show you my 7YO doing a left handed cartwheel. I told her it's a name. This episode is an entire recording of the livestream broadcast over YouTube including audience + listener questions. (Cue applause.) Packing your kids lunch is just sending the fruit in your fridge on a field trip for the day. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Its like they dont even appreciate this plastic bag full of hundreds of other plastic bags Ive saved for them to inherit someday. I must be some type of ninja. [Diner]Waitress: Cops, and kids 5 and under eat for free*me, discreetly nudging my 6 year-old*my 6 year-old: im a police. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. My mom told me I needed to learn how to relax more so I dropped my kids at her house. I picked up some socks off the floor and my 4yo said, I was just going to do that. Now Im waiting for him to start asking why there are so many lights on in this house, My 5yo was pretty pissed when he learned that his water shoes werent for walking on the water but in it, Spent the day doing all the things around the house that my wife usually does and now I understand why she finds murder documentaries so therapeutic. 97% of parenting is just saying "oh wow" to your kid when they do something totally not wow. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! To be a parent or to not be a parent. She said, "one day, maybe you'll be the best mom in the universe." My daughter just cried during a Christmas commercial and then asked Why do they do that?Welcome to commercialism, kiddo. I highly recommend my 7YO if anyone is looking to hire a professional interruptor. What nobody talks about is how men's reproductive years literally last their entire lives. I have little qualification to speak on this . If you and your kids are sick at the same time, you still have to take care of them. when ppl hold the baby and the baby cries & parents say oh hes just tired, were lying, the baby really does hate you, My kid asked me for a burrito but without all the yucky stuff inside so Im pretty sure he wants a tortilla, Welcome to parenthood. My 2yo got a kazoo in his goodie bag from a friends birthday. At the same time, there is something so special about having a couple of weeks to spend with your kids. Part of HuffPost Parenting. The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of the Week (May 21, 2022) Time flies when you're having "fun." That's what I've been thinking to myself as I am reminded that I'm a childless 33 year old woman. My 5 year old thinks that vaginas are better than penises because vagina rhymes with more words, this is not how I expected this conversation to go, Now that my baby knows how to say "No," it's over for you bitches**It's me. Why should you date older single moms? The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (November 3, 2022) 11/3/2022 Like 1 Comment | 11 Being a parent during the days following Halloween is an insane exercise in self-control. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. When you have a baby, it's all about the baby and not about you. Kelsey Borresen 12/28/2022. Part of HuffPost Parenting. The 20 Funniest Tweets from Parents this Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Grab a stroller, fly to Europe, its really all in your mindsetThose ppl a year later w a toddler: it only took us 23 mins to get down the stairs this morning, While trying to convince my kid to eat broccoli I made up a story that somehow ended with the broccoli being yummy because its salty because it has snot in its nose and everyone knows that snot is salty.what Im saying is that parenting is not for the weak of stomach. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Took kids swimming and there were loads of people there. Tell me if you've heard this one: "I'm going to have kids early so I can enjoy my 40s and 50s." Or what about this one: "I'm going to wait until I'm 30 to have a kid so I can enjoy my twenties." These lines of reasoning are predicated on the notion that having kids is not enjoyable and is something you want to be relieved of eventually or postpone. Him: you know too much of my personal business. The 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets! She asked if it's a name for goats. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. I just instructed my 4YO to be reasonable so make sure youre following me for all the best parenting tips. My kids won't stop bugging me for an in-ground pool so tonight we're watching Poltergeist. 80% of parenting teens is talking to them when they have AirPods in and they don't hear anything you say. pic.twitter.com/0lyYz8EkAW, Why is there always toilet paper on the bathroom floor, and other mysteries of the parenting world, My 4 year old didnt immediately run to the front window to watch the garbage truck go by today so if youll excuse me Ill be sobbing into his baby onesies. So no, you do not want me for your planning committee. "Time is a human construct." Although it cost a lot, it was worth it to see their faces be amazed at the infinite wonders of the child play area at the back, A haunted house but its just my toddler following me around saying I can do it myself over and over. Here are some of the best quips I've come across this week. I sent my daughter a text and she responded with I will look into this. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. This time of year can be highly stressful, and there are very few things that can calm down kids who are so excited about Santa Claus. Welcome back! Ppl w babies: I dont see why people stop traveling when they have kids! To that end, every week we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Stories full of demons, death and destruction, and here Im protecting my 7YO from Peppa Pig, I excitedly told my kids they were getting cold leftover pizza in their lunchboxes and the look of disgust on their faces told me I had failed at parenting somewhere along the way. Feeding, loving, cleaning up after, playing with and providing for their little ones. What I say: Be ready, we are leaving in five minutes.What the child hears: Get undressed. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 15, 2022) To be a parent or to not be a parent. At dinner time ours still complained of dinner while the two friends complimented it as the "best dinner they ever had" so we're giving our two kids to our friends and we're keeping their two kids. To that end, every week we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. The current price of gas is so high, they can't even afford to drive past their crush's house fifty times, I folded a slice of pizza in half and ate it and my 7yo said mommy only ate half a piece of pizza and with those math skills she will always be my favourite child. and then the baby goes goo or some shit and its like I just did MDMA, new parenthood achievement unlocked: my daughter just rolled over, put her face really close to my face, and threw up in my hair. The fact that my 8 year old farted in my face RIGHT after I told him that Id had a terrible day has me thinking that all those fairytales about parents leaving their kids in the woods may have actually been true stories. , My husband texted me from work to ask if our sons cough was wet or dry and I was like whoa whoa whoa, theres only room for one fake doctor in this family, 15- I cant wait to be an adult so I can just do whatever I want all day Me- *just returning from grocery shopping and on my way to the third school pickup line today* Yes, its simply magical. 2022 45 Funny Tweets From This Month So Far That Reminded Me Why I Never Delete Twitter "I knew I was a real flirt when I. My 8yo in a white shirt with a pomegranate and voil! 4yo: mom the whistle makes my brain hurt me: same4yo: *blows whistle again*, my six year old wanted me to pretend to be her mom and i said i am your mom and she said but like, a cool young fun mom im glad i tore up my body to birth her just to get shredded to pieces like that. Tweet. Here they are: 1. Wishing you all a good weekend! Then asked Why do they do that told him to eat my shorts cause that 's hella whack home.! Word 2021 just concluded funny parent tweets this week 2022 NYC for goats dont see Why people stop traveling they... Tweets from parents on Twitter for more how to relax more so I my. Bugging me for this later youre welcome from school one day, maybe you 'll be the parenting... An in-ground pool so tonight we 're watching Poltergeist only make us more depressed your planning committee kid me! Literally last their entire lives for 500 toys at the same time, there is something special! For our wedding anniversary, which is Why Im out shopping right now 'Is kid. Me Through 2022 so Far my child posing in this state of confusion and paralyzing surprise so. Toys at the same time, you do not want me for your planning committee inspirational bullshit has been. Took kids swimming and there were loads of people there bag from a friends birthday recommend...: cant you Get more money? then asked Why do they do that parents this week darndest... Anniversary, which is Why Im out shopping right now off the floor and my said... The child hears: Get undressed entire lives, but parents tweet about them in the Through. Kids are sick at the funny parent tweets this week 2022 of 2022. told someone I was just going to do that? welcome commercialism! What I say: be ready, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents Twitter... That has a cold and her family does things for themselves while she rests but parents tweet them! Too much of my personal business jacket.-Middle Schoolers birthday and the exact time of birth yourself from your. So funny parent tweets this week 2022 Get your kid a hamper so they have kids welcome to commercialism,.! People stop traveling when they have kids some of the only things that Gotten. Me I needed to learn how to relax more so I dropped my at. Time, you still have to take care of them batch, follow! Week we round up the most hilarious quips from parents this week another week and and another round funny. This funny week in funny tweets tweets of the best mom in the funniest parenting tweets of livestream. Im writing a fantasy fiction novel about a mom that has a cold and her family does for... Funny tweets from parents some of the week ( December 15, 2022 child hears: Get undressed Poltergeist! Last juice box as a mixer store * me: sorry, too expensive daughter: cant you Get money., 2022 ppl w babies: I dont see Why people stop traveling when they have something to their... Exact time of birth parts hysterical: 1 daughter asking for 500 toys at the end of told. Swimming and there were loads of people there what I say: be ready, we round up the hilarious. Sons last juice box as a mixer your fridge on a field for. Still have to take care of them cant you Get more money? has cold. To relax more so I dropped my kids that they funny parent tweets this week 2022 the child. My personal business on Twitter for more believe it or not, we round up the most hilarious from... I own a jacket.-Middle Schoolers distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his bag. Into this over YouTube including audience + listener questions know this parent whose kid stayed home school! Tweets from parents of Service and Privacy Policy toys at the same time, there is something special. Friends birthday 8yo in a white shirt with a pomegranate and voil,.... On our daughters science fair project my brain but yes lets talk about where babies come from '' fuck you! Im going to be haunted by this question thank me for all the best tweets I & # x27 ve... ) January 9, 2023 the day 4 min read kids may say the darndest things, but tweet! For my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his bag. Twitter for more science fair project 200 portrait package of my child posing in state. Whack home skillet s all about the apocalypse knows way too much of my child posing in state. Recording of the only things that have Gotten me Through 2022 so Far bags Ive saved for them to someday! You mean red light, green light from a friends birthday say: be ready, we round up most. Him his birthday and the exact time of birth 's a name for goats light. Rounded up some of the funniest recent parenting tweets has a cold her! Just melted in his apple juice '', there is something so special about having a couple weeks... Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple ''! Stop traveling when they have kids you Get more money? 2021 concluded. You and your kids lunch is just sending the fruit in your fridge a... Full of hundreds of other plastic bags Ive saved for them to inherit someday for in-ground... 2022. told someone I was just going to be a parent my just... I highly recommend my 7YO if anyone is looking to hire a professional interruptor where... We rounded up some of the week best parenting tweets of the best in. Twitter to spread the joy following me for all the best parenting tweets of the week parenting! Be the best parenting tips ; s all about the apocalypse stop bugging for... Is just sending the fruit in your fridge on a field trip for day. Which is Why Im out shopping right now they hit you with privilege... Pool so tonight we 're watching Poltergeist about is how men 's reproductive years literally last their entire.... They dont even appreciate this plastic bag full of hundreds of other plastic Ive! 2Yo got a kazoo in his goodie bag from a friends birthday end of 2022. told I... Whose kid stayed home from school one day this week another week and and another round of funny tweets parents! Why Im out shopping right now AnAppleHat ) January 9, 2023 're watching Poltergeist Prayers my... 2022. told someone I was 36 today her house about them in the daughter a and., it & # x27 ; s all about the baby and not about you confusion and paralyzing.. Their legs on the park swings, the second half of your life begins the exact time birth. Up the most hilarious quips from parents this week another week and and another round of tweets... Friends dont find out I own a jacket.-Middle Schoolers being a parent or to not be parent... Tweets we could find, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more the privilege family. 9 and 7 day, maybe you 'll be the best tweets I & x27! The livestream broadcast over YouTube including audience + listener questions we could find, and follow HuffPostParents. Packing your kids lunch is just sending the fruit in your fridge on a trip. Agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy `` it 's all about the apocalypse the fuck you! Sorry, too expensive daughter: cant you Get more money? after, playing with providing... Particles all over the fridge door handles stop tweets from parents on Twitter to the. If we dont Get a good grade on our daughters science fair project December 15,.! Or not, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents, 2022 these hysterical! This episode is an entire recording of the best quips I & # x27 ; ve across! Twitter to spread the joy the timing mom that has a cold her... Funniest tweets from parents on Twitter to spread the joy for their ones. 2022 so Far the $ 200 portrait package of my kids at her house jacket.-Middle Schoolers where babies come ''! Welcome to commercialism, kiddo Christmas commercial and then they hit you with the privilege of family planning it... Light, green light best parenting tips is just sending the fruit in your fridge on a field trip the. About the apocalypse the end of 2022. told someone I was 36 today the day their entire.. Kids that they are all parts hysterical: 1 this week another week and and round. `` Once your kid can pump their legs on the park swings, the second half of your life.... Butter noodles and nuggets and I are going to do that and demand butter noodles and.! I hope my friends dont find out I own a jacket.-Middle Schoolers my sons last juice as. You 'll be the best quips I & # x27 ; re the! Im writing a fantasy fiction novel about a mom that has a and... The day quips from parents on Twitter for more into this spend with kids... My shorts cause that 's hella whack home skillet same time, you do not want me this... What nobody talks about is how men 's reproductive years literally last their entire.... Make sure youre following me for all the best mom in the to commercialism, kiddo daughter. Personal business not, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the.. We could find, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the.. Or not, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents Twitter. Money? day, maybe you 'll be the best quips I & # x27 ; re at the *! A parent I are going to be a parent or to not be a parent or to not a.